For this weekend’s game, all Navy fans are encouraged to do the following when the announcers say or do the following:
1. Penn State players overcoming adversity. ==> Drink two sips of beer and eat a Tostito chip. Say hi to your child or wife or whoever.
2. “They have so much pride in their school (Navy or Penn State).” ==> Drain your drink, eat Tostitos and use the head. Soothingly sing “Troy Calhounnnnnnnn protects his players from the media swoonnnnnnnnn” while using the head.
3. “There’s no quit in these Midshipmen! They play all 60 minutes.” ==> Slap yourself, call your Grandma, and do a shot of Jack Daniels.
4. “Navy’s defensive line is outweighed by an average of 30 lbs!” ==> Do 10 pushups, drink half a beer, make grunting sound.
5. Mentions Joe Paterno’s legacy. ==> Roll eyes, sigh, say “whatever!” really loud, and of course – take a drink.
6. Mispronounces Ken Niumatalolo’s name. ==> Shake head with an attitude, drunk text your neighbor and drink.
7. Mentions that the student body was really hard on the PSU kicker last week. ==> One “waaa”, two “deal with its”, and three gulps buddy.
Announcer interchanges “cut block” and “chop block” = tequila shooter.
Announcer says, “And we begin the second quarter with …. ” – no specific instructions because if you faithfully followed all the rules up to this point, you are likely passed out on the couch and never heard the above comment.
Mention of the Midshipman’s daily schedule, or academic load = a shot of Jack with a Red Bull Chaser.
Never needed a reason for taking a shot or two of Jose or Jack. Except maybe when the divorce became final.
Mention of “Wishbone” offense ==> eat half a dozen spicy chicken wings and wash it down with a big gulp of beer