The Good: Strasmas!

Back when the Nationals announced that yesterday would be Stephen Strasburg’s major league debut, I felt sorry for the guy. I mean, there’s pressure, and then there’s pressure… Like having the hopes and dreams of a franchise on your shoulders and being hailed as the savior of the future of the sport in Washington. There’s no way anyone can live up to that kind of hype on the first day, right? LOL wrong. Apparently what the Nationals call the “minor leagues” is really Xavier’s School for Gifted Pitchers, teaching mutants like Strasburg how to control their powers of knee-buckling curveballs and escape-velocity fastballs. A few of those pitches were one flux capacitor away from landing in 1955. The town of Strasburg, Virginia decided not to rename itself “Stephen Strasburg,” a decision they’ll likely regret when Strasburg eventually destroys all of us. You could’ve had your lives spared to merely serve as his slaves for eternity, Strasburg VA, but now you’ve just made him angrier.

Seeing a sold-out baseball game in Washington on a Tuesday night in June made me wish I was back in high school in Arlington. Then again, if DC had baseball when I was in high school, I would’ve flunked so horribly after going to games every night that I never would’ve made it to USNA. But at least you would’ve been spared this horrible blog. The real tragedy in all this is that clearly Strasburg would’ve single-handedly tipped the scales in Washington’s favor in the From The Rumble Seat Sporting City Tournament. Definitely grounds for a do-over.

The Bad: Hell’s offseason has claimed another prize, as Mario Washington has been separated from the Academy. Washington is a sure-handed wide receiver who had 9 catches last year, which is significant in this offense. He’ll probably be missed the most as a punt returner, though. Not that he set the world on fire running punts back, but his good hands were a real asset. He was switched to cornerback as an experiment this spring and played well, but it’s all moot now.

The Ugly: The Baltimore Sun’s Faceoff lacrosse blog looks at Navy’s prospects for next season. When the “Bad” paragraph is twice the length of the “Good” paragraph, you know you’re in for a treat!

The End of the World: The seventh seal might be broken as early as Friday if this story in the Omaha Herald comes to fruition. More on that later…

The Blogs: Subway Domer finds a silver lining in losing to Navy twice in the last three years. If you come away from that post offended instead of realizing that it’s a compliment, resist the urge to react the way you did when you wrote letters to newspapers complaining about the Missouri marching band you pansy. Barking Carnival LOLs @ Baylor. I admit, though, that I have a soft spot for Baylor thanks to The Next Step In Human Evolution, and defensive coordinator Brian Norwood– Niumat’s best friend, former Navy assistant coach, and all-around nice guy. Pre-Snap Read is up to #86 in his countdown, Arizona State. The cool kids who follow him on Twitter, though, know to tune in tomorrow, because #85 is Army.

The iPod: Neko Case– Fox Confessor Brings The Flood

The Padres: Can’t hit worth crap, slipped a half game behind the Dodgers in the NL West, and are one good losing streak away from selling Adrian Gonzalez to the first team who offers them a box of rocks and a coupon for Applebee’s. But other than that they’re awesome.