Category: Uncategorized

AIRING OF GRIEVANCES

On By MikeIn Uncategorized57 Comments

NAVY LOST TO DUKE. I HAVE REACHED MY LIMIT FOR TOLERANCE AND PATIENCE. NOW IT’S TIME TO START CRACKING SKULLS.

THE YELLOW “N” AT MIDFIELD:

WHY CAN WE GET A GOLD N-STAR FOR A ONE-OFF GAME AT THE MEADOWLANDS BUT HAVE TO SUFFER THROUGH A HIDEOUS LOOKING YELLOW N AT HOME? DO THEY GIVE DISCOUNTS FOR TACKY PAINT COLORS? IT’S NAVY BLUE AND GOLD, NOT NAVY BLUE AND THE COLOR OF THE MIDDLE STRIPE ON A TWO-LANE ROAD. AND WHY IS THERE NO STAR ON THE N ANYMORE? IF THE TV CAMERAS ARE ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE FIELD, JUST FLIP THE LOGO. GOLD SIDE FANS HAVE LIVED WITH AN UPSIDE DOWN N-STAR FOR 50 YEARS. IT’S TIME FOR THE BLUE-SIDE PANSIES TO SUCK IT UP. WHICH REMINDS ME…

MOVING THE TV CAMERAS TO THE GOLD SIDE: I’M NOT SURE WHAT’S WORSE: THE NUCLEAR GLARE THAT LEAPS OUT FROM THE FIELDTURF, OR THE FACT THAT THE CAMERAS AREN’T MOUNTED HIGH ENOUGH:

DID HE CATCH IT? IS IT A TOUCHDOWN? HELL IF I KNOW, BECAUSE MAGNUS HERE AND HIS GIANT BLOND SCANDINAVIAN GRAPE ARE BLOCKING THE VIEW.

THE ECONOMY: MY HOUSE IS NOW WORTH APPROXIMATELY ONE-FIFTH OF WHAT I PAID FOR IT. I AM DOOMED TO SPEND THE REST OF MY LIFE IN THE GROUND ZERO OF MEDIOCRITY THAT IS JACKSONVILLE.

LA NOPALERA: WHAT KIND OF MEXICAN RESTAURANT NOT ONLY DOESN’T HAVE BOHEMIA AT THE BAR, BUT MAKES YOU SIT IN THAT BOHEMIA-LESS BAR FOR AN HOUR BEFORE THEY COME OUT AND TELL YOU THAT THEY’RE OUT OF CARNITAS? THE KIND WE HAVE IN JACKSONVILLE, THAT’S WHAT KIND.

THE CADET CHICK IN THE CBS COLLEGE SPORTS STUDIO SHOW: NO YOU DON’T GET CONGRATULATED FOR BEATING VMI YOU SNOTTY-ASS WOOP. YOU QUIETLY ACCEPT YOUR GIFT-WRAPPED WIN AND PRAY THAT YOU DON’T GET CHARGED WITH A WAR CRIME FOR SCHEDULING SUCH AN OVERMATCHED VICTIM.

MY NEXT DOOR NEIGHBOR THAT HAS 9 BEAGLES: EVERY TIME I SO MUCH AS STEP ON A TWIG IN MY BACKYARD I AM REWARDED WITH A BARKING CACOPHANY FROM THE OTHER SIDE OF THE FENCE THAT IS UNRIVALED EXCEPT FOR MAYBE A KE$HA CONCERT. HOW ABOUT GETTING RID OF A DOG OR TWO, CRUELLA DEVILLE?

HALLOWEEN: SCORES OF GERM-CARRYING, PINT-SIZED JERKS RING MY DOORBELL ALL NIGHT TO MAKE MY DOGS FREAK OUT AND BEG FOR CANDY. NO I WON’T GIVE YOU A SECOND KIT-KAT YOU UNGRATEFUL BRAT. JUST FOR ASKING I HOPE THE REST OF THE NEIGHBORHOOD IS HANDING OUT ORANGE MARSHMALLOWS SHAPED LIKE PEANUTS. YOU ARE THE WORST “HOLIDAY” EVER.

CBS COLLEGE SPORTS CAMERAS: I HAVE A WIDE-SCREEN TV SO I CAN SEE MORE OF THE FIELD, NOT SO YOU CAN ZOOM IN SO CLOSE THAT I CAN CALL THE SNAP CADENCE MYSELF.

PROTIP: IF YOU’VE ZOOMED IN SO FAR THAT YOU CAN’T EVEN SEE EVERYONE IN THE FORMATION, YOU’VE ZOOMED IN TOO DAMN FAR.

NOTRE DAME: YOUR INCREDIBLE INCOMPETENCE GAVE EVERYONE FALSE HOPE. THIS IS YOUR FAULT.

POINSETTIA BOWL: YOU ARE SCHEDULED ON DECEMBER 23RD. THAT MEANS THAT EVERYONE GOING HOME FROM THE GAME WILL HAVE TO LEAVE ON CHRISTMAS EVE. WELL THAT JACKS UP THE PRICE OF THE TRIP A BIT NOW DOESN’T IT. AND A SPECIAL SCREW YOU TO SOUTHWEST AIRLINES FOR GIVING ME FREE TICKETS THAT I CAN’T USE FOR THE ONE THING I ACTUALLY WANT TO TRAVEL TO BECAUSE YOU WON’T LET ME USE THEM ON CHRISTMAS EVE.

VINNY DEL NEGRO: YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON ON EARTH WHO CAN STOP BLAKE GRIFFIN, AND YOU HAVE BEEN DOING SO WITH RUTHLESS EFFICIENCY. NOW CHOKE YOURSELF.

PEOPLE WHO CONSTANTLY CALL FOR THE BACKUP QUARTERBACK: GREAT IDEA, LOMBARDI. I’M SURE THAT’LL FIX THE DEFENSE. WHILE YOU’RE AT IT WHY DON’T YOU CHANGE THE OIL TO SEE IF THAT’LL GET RID OF THE SQUEALING NOISE COMING FROM YOUR BRAKES. DON’T YOU KNOW ANY OTHER POSITIONS? WHY DON’T YOU EVER WANT TO BENCH THE LEFT GUARD? HOW ABOUT THE LONG SNAPPER? YOU ARE NADIR OF HUMANITY. YOU ARE AN AFFRONT TO REASON. YOU ARE A HORRIBLE PERSON AND I HATE YOU.

Not much else to say

On By MikeIn Uncategorized2 Comments

“Brendan was a strong, steady presence for everyone.  Whatever needed to be done you could always count on him to make it happen.  He led by example and he inspired others to make a difference.  When Travis returned from his first tour to Iraq he spoke with Brendan, who shared his frustration with not being more engaged with our efforts.  Shortly thereafter, Travis informed me that Brendan was accepted into the Navy SEAL training program and he knew immediately that Navy SEALs had just gotten an incredible leader.  I could tell how proud Travis was of Brendan when he shared this story with me.  

“Unfortunately, Travis didn’t return home from his second tour to Iraq, but I know he was looking down proudly as Brendan went on to become BUD/S Class 265 Honorman during his SEAL training course and complete several successful tours defending our freedoms.  

“Our country has lost a great leader but we’ve gained an incredible example of courage and commitment for future generations to come.  Brendan and Travis are back together again, true patriots who believed in this country.  They are of the same cloth: Warriors for Freedom, Brothers Forever.”  
–– Col. Tom Manion, USMCR (Ret.) (father of Travis Manion)

http://www.navysports.com/sports/m-lacros/spec-rel/092510aai.html